Minor Detours
by adele4
Summary: Jounouchi tries to come to terms with his crush on Kaiba, his inability to beat him in any game, and the fact his little sister is dating a woman he can't decently beat up if need be. His friends are, for the most part, supportive, and kind of puzzled.


Disclaimer: I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh or any of its characters.

* * *

**Minor Detours**

* * *

"Five moves." Honda whistled, impressed. "I didn't know it was _possible_ to win a chess match in five moves."

"Yeah well, what do _you_ know about chess?" Jounouchi mumbled dejectedly; it was a good thing that the game shop was deserted right now, he thought: at least no-one else was listening. In that sense, he was almost glad Anzu was out of town: she'd be nicer than Otogi, for sure, who could have stayed in America as far as he was concerned, but it would be one more person to hear about his latest failure.

"Seriously, what were you thinking?" Otogi asked, sounding almost friendly. "The guy beat a world champion when he was ten!"

"Oh, give me a break! I didn't really think I'd win." Which was only half a lie: he never thought it to be impossible to win; he was just... aware of the fact the odds were against him. "I just thought the game would last a little longer."

Yuugi gave him a friendly smile.

"You have to admit, it wasn't a very good plan."

"Fine," Jounouchi snapped. "You're right. Do you have a better idea?"

* * *

"Mai might have an idea," Shizuka supplied, ever helpful, and took the shirt her brother had clumsily folded for her from him and put it in the wardrobe. His sister wasn't the first person he'd have chosen to confide in with that kind of thing, but at least with her, he could be certain he wouldn't be laughed at. That and, frankly, Kaiba just seemed to come up in all his conversations these days. "I'll ask her if you want."

"No," Jounouchi protested, alarmed. He was already a little worried about the growing friendship between the two girls, and the influence Mai might have on her sister anyway. Not that he wasn't thankful that Mai let her stay with her for the mouth she was going to spend in Domino, but... "My little sister is not going to ask Kujaku Mai for dating advice!"

"Hm?" Shizuka turned round to give him a puzzled look. "Why not?"

"Because... Arg, I just..." His shoulders slumped. He couldn't talk to Shizuka like that either. "She hasn't given you advice to flirt with boys, has she?" he asked, almost pleading.

To his alarm, Shizuka blushed at that.

"Well... no." She looked down and bit her lip; despite of his alarm, Jounouchi hated himself for somehow having made her that uncomfortable. "Actually, I think I'm homosexual."

"You..." He paused, as his mind tried to process this new information. "You're a lesbian?" he asked, blankly. "Wait a minute!..."

"And, you know..." Shizuka looked even more uncomfortable now. "Mai... I've wanted to tell you that in person..." She trailed off.

Jounouchi stared.

"Please tell me you're not dating Mai!"

Shizuka looked down and wriggled the piece of cloth she was holding between her fingers.

"Nice to see you, Katsuya," came a voice from the door.

Shizuka's head snapped up, and Jounouchi whirled around.

"Mai!" he said, feeling unexplainably ashamed all the sudden. "What are you doing here?"

"I happen to live here, Jounouchi." She turned to his sister. "Will you have enough space? I can empty another wardrobe if you don't."

"No, it's okay," Shizuka said in a small voice, and tried to smile.

Jounouchi cast her a worried look.

"Look, I – "

"Could I please have a world with you?" Mai interrupted, casting him a smile that could cut through glass. "Somewhere else?"

"I... alright."

He let Mai drag him through a corridor and two other rooms – she owned the biggest apartment he had ever seen – and more or less push him down on a chair in what he recognised to be the kitchen

"Katsuya, stop it!" she snapped as soon as he was sitting. "You're upsetting her."

"I'm..." His mouth gaped open in shook. "You're dating my sister! That's!..." He paused for breath. He'd always known that someday he'd have to kill the person who thought he could be good enough for his little sister, but he had never imagined the person in question would be a gorgeous woman he might once have had a bit of a crush on himself. "You're ten years older than her!"

"Oh for – we're not going to have sex!"

"S... how can you even think about that! You..."

"Look," Mai said seriously, sitting down. "You're important to her. If she feels you disapprove, she'll stop just to make you happy. Do you want her to date someone just because she thinks it'll be alright with you?"

"No."

"Right, so – "

"I don't want her to date at all!"

Mai opened her mouth and glared. Jounouchi couldn't help his gaze trailing down to her very sharp claws – er, nails. Maybe beating her up would be okay after all, girl or not. She'd probably win.

"Katsuya, you have issues."

"You're one to talk!"

"What's that supposed to mean?" Mai asked, suddenly cold.

Jounouchi winced, already regretting he'd said that, but now it was too late to go back. He had to go through this. He drew a breath.

"Look Mai, you're a great person and a great friend, and I care for you a lot, but after what happened with Doma, you can't blame me if I don't fully trust you, because you're not emotionally stable. No, let me finish. I told you I was sure you could and would get through this, and I meant it, but I don't know that you're there yet, and I don't want my sister to have to deal with this." He sighed. That had been strenuous. Mai had stopped glaring, and was now looking at him with a little smile. "Mai, are you even listening to me?"

"You're cute when you get all serious and protective."

"_Ng_, Mai!"

"Okay, okay!" She held up her hands in a placating gesture. "I'm sorry, and you're right. But... can't you just give me a chance? And her a little credit? I really care for her."

"I... guess," he said slowly, not fully happy.

"After all," Mai added, smile returning, "she's letting _you _date Seto Kaiba."

"Let... what's that... _I'm not dating Seto Kaiba!_"

"Not for lack of trying, I'm told."

Jounouchi's shoulders slumped in defeat.

"Who told you that?"

"Otogi was there when I picked up Shizuka from the train station."

"I'm going to kill him," Jounouchi mumbled.

"Didn't you use to say that kind of thing about Kaiba too?" She laughed at the look her threw her. "Alright. So, you want some advice, do you?"

"Do you have any?" he asked gloomily.

"I hope so at least. What have you tried so far?"

"Challenging him to stuff. At least that gets his attention!" he added defensively.

"Right. What stuff?"

"Er... everything I could think of. Duel Monsters, of course. Donjon Dice. Chess. Poker. Every video game in existence. That shooting game at the arcade."

"And he won them all?"

"Yeah. It's kind of creepy how good he is with a gun, actually."

"I think we have already established that Kaiba is creepy. And he agreed to them all?"

"Yeah."

"Hm. Ever tried to just grab him and kiss him?"

"Well... I'm not sure it'd work. For one, he's taller then me, and he's strong, so – what if I try to pull his head down and he just doesn't move?"

"You've given this some thought, I see."

"Do you have an idea or not?"

"Maybe. Look, either he's interested, or he accepts silly challenges from everyone. I mean, _chess_? Seriously."

"You mean he's secretly in love with me?" Jounouchi asked hopefully, ignoring the part about chess.

"Well... This _is_ Kaiba, so maybe he's just being weird. What I mean is, just ask him out for something that doesn't involve a challenge, and see what he does."

"But what if he doesn't accept?"

"Then he doesn't. If you're happy just playing games with him, leave it at that, but you're not."

"... at least now I get to spend time with him."

"You're a bit of a masochist, aren't you?"

Jounouchi narrowed his eyes at her.

"You know, I can still withdraw my permission for you to date m..." He interrupted himself, suddenly thinking of something. "Does her mother know about this?"

"... no," Mai admitted, suddenly serious again as well.

"Right," Jounouchi said slowly. Threatening to maim anyone who looked at his sister was easy; actually being _mature_ about it was another matter altogether. He trusted his friends much more than his family, Shizuka herself aside, and liked Mai better than his mother, but... "You'll have to tell her. I mean... she's her mother, and her guardian. She should know if she's involved with the adult woman she stays with for a month."

"You're right." Mai sighed. "We were both... worried about letting her know."

"Yeah." He sympathised. He was grateful enough he didn't have to involve his mother in his love-life in any way; and his father had more than enough trouble with his own life. He stood up. "I guess I better talk to her again now. That's all the advice you got?"

"Ask him out. It doesn't get any easier than that, I'm afraid."

* * *

"An 'all you can eat' buffet," Kaiba stated, looking around the room as if expecting it to suddenly change into something else without warning.

"Yeah!" Jounouchi tried very hard to smile, and succeeded so well that a ridiculously bright grin was plastered over his face. "It's really good too! And it's a good deal. If you eat a lot. I bet you couldn't eat as fast as I."

"I am not going to start an eating competition with you," Kaiba said coldly.

"Right." He swallowed. So maybe it wasn't all Kaiba, being needlessly competitive. "I wasn't expecting you to. Er. You take a tablet from – "

"Thank you, I think I'll manage on my own."

Jounouchi glared at his retreating back as he walked over to the buffet, and followed. Kaiba moved in brisk, clip movements: he did look out of place here, but not awkwardly so.

He looked down, and tried to concentrate on the food in front of him, instead of watching Kaiba. If the man distracted him from already-paid-for food, he had it bad.

He followed Kaiba to a table by a window, where the CEO glowered at the person who had been just about to take it, and sat down across of him. His own tablet was loaded with as much food as humanly possible, while Kaiba only had a plate with a fillet of beef – he didn't know that had this here! – and some bread. And water.

"So," Jounouchi began. Don't ask him about playing Duel Monsters later, he told himself. You promised Mai. No challenges.

Kaiba looked up. Jounouchi still found it hard to believe he'd actually come.

"Yes?"

"Er. How's the food?"

"Fine," Kaiba answered curtly. "A bit dry, but not bad."

"Ah."

So much for conversation.

They were silent for almost the whole rest of the meal, and Jounouchi felt distinctly uncomfortable. Of course, Kaiba was silent too, but somehow he gave the impression he'd meant to be. And he was being polite, too. He could deal with insults better.

It was chilly outside, so he drew his coat closely around himself and watched gloomily as, a few feet from him, Kaiba tipped at his cell-phone. Probably calling a limousine to get away as fast as possible.

"This was entertaining," Kaiba said, turning back to him.

Jounouchi glared at him. Cold voice and expressionless face or not, he could spot sarcasm. So it _had_ sucked (though the food had been good!)! It wasn't all his fault! Kaiba hadn't done anything to make the date go any better either. Next time, he'd just challenge him to something again. What two-player games hadn't they tried yet? Backgammon maybe?

"What would you do," he spurted out, because now there wasn't much to lose anyway, "if I just grabbed you and kissed you?"

Kaiba gave him a strange look; he could at least look surprised, Jounouchi thought angrily.

"Why?" he asked – was he _smirking_? – "Are you planning to?"

Jounouchi's mouth dropped open.

"I – _no_!"

Kaiba narrowed his eyes at him, and then he made a brisk step forward, grabbed him by the hem of his shirt, and pulled him upwards.

* * *

"He _kissed_ me!"

Honda, Otogi, Yuugi, Anzu and he were sitting on the floor behind the counter, over a half-hearted game of cluedo. It had been a slow morning, and at his angry exclamation, the only costumer, who had shuffled through the shop for quite a while, forcing one of them to keep a close eye on him all the time, quickly disappeared.

"And... that's a bad thing?" Honda asked, trying to wrap his mind about the bizarre relationship between his best friend and Seto Kaiba.

"Yes! No, not as such, but – wait, why am I in the kitchen?"

"Otogi suspected your character. With the rope, see?"

"You did that on purpose!"

Otogi smirked and didn't answer.

"Why _are_ you so angry?" Anzu asked. Yuugi and Honda had quickly briefed her on the latest events when she'd returned, and possibly, her patience hadn't had time to run thin with the whole ordeal yet. Not that Yuugi's ever would.

"I bet he _knew_ all this time I had a crush on him!"

"You _were_ kind of obvious," Otogi remarked. "Nope," he told Anzu, showing her a card; she made a face, and scribed something down.

"That's not the point! He could have said something!"

"He did kiss you though," Yuugi said reasonably. "Five... The Library." Otogi made a face. " Colonel Mustard, with the knife." He looked round at them.

Jounouchi took a quick look at his cards.

"Sounds right to me," he said, putting them down. "I know but – he could have been nicer about it, you know?"

"Figures," Otogi said, when Yuugi showed them the three hidden cards: library, Mustard, knife. "That's one for Anzu and two for you." He stretched and stood up. "So you don't want to date him anymore?"

"Actually," Jounouchi said awkwardly, "We have a date on Saturday. What?" he said defensively, when the other three looked at him.

"That's great!" Yuugi offered.

He sounded sincere, too. Jounouchi smiled at him. Actually, he supposed it was. Life was good.

"Jounouchi," Honda said slowly. "You're my best mate and all, but I think I don't want to know _anything_ about this relationship."

* * *

_Note: the whole idea of Jounouchi not wanting his sister to date girls because he can't beat them up if they hurt her probably comes from Misura's "Behind the roses"._

_Comments are love!_


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